Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
