he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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