Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
