i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
