Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
