It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize