I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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