so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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