Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
im holly from the hills drunk
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
