Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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