so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
