My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Can I color on your dick again?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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