so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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