it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
