I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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