I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
