What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
