I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
