remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
why is half of my head shaved?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
