also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
