Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I love having hate sex.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I am one with the molecules
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
