So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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