just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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