I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We need to get me chipped asap
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize