he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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