Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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