nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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