i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
