Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
stop calling my apartment porn island.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
