Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
