the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
