awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
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