You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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