...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
