why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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