Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
