i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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