I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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