I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
