Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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