Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
