I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize