brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
