Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
