having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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