I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
