On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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