I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
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