no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
