Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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