her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
All the doctor said was why
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
