do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Dick very happy bro
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
