First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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