Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
