i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
