Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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