i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
