I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You pole danced in your parka.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
