OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
