Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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