hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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