I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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