dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
