I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
