His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize