pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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