Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize