This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
