We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
