Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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