I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
