I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
