she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
