Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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