i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
