Define "chronic" masturbator.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
