Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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