Sober January is a disaster.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
