Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize