it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
